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I don't know if you have watched the British drama "Sex Education". In the drama, Mr. Colin's sex has never felt. He and his ambiguous female teacher have been looking for the secret to unlocking wonderful sex.
Finally, in an accident, it turned out that the woman likes to have "Dirty Talk" during sex.
Try to recall if you and your partner had any of the following conversations during sex:
I want / Don't stop / Your penis is great / Little slut / …
If a few words like those in the movie can arouse your sexual interest, then you may like "Dirty Talk".
During sex, some provocative Dirty Talk with just the right scale can not only arouse the interest of both parties, but also make the sex journey more exciting and wonderful.
Let us first understand what is Dirty Talk.
The Dirty Talk here definitely does not refer to simple swearing, but refers to a "shameful language that can arouse the other party's lust" used during sex.
For example, sexual commands, insults, praises, addressing, etc., for some people, this is a way to increase sexual pleasure.
Researchers from Western Sydney University recruited 95 participants from social media and asked them to write about what they said during sex and what they thought other people might say during sex. Penis Extender can improve sex quality.
A total of 569 kinds of content were collected. After the researchers summarized, they divided Dirty Talk into the following two types:
The first category is the expression of the state of sexual interaction between the two parties during sexual activity. Such as expressing emotional shouting, positive sexual communication, guiding the other party's actions, and so on. This type of Dirty Talk is called "mutualistic", and it is a joint effort by both parties to make sexual interaction better.
The second category is the expression of personal special desires during sexual activities. This type of Dirty Talk is called individualistic, which focuses on expressing some special thoughts and desires in the individual's heart. These contents are undoubtedly the dirtiest part of Dirty Talk: there are forbidden words, belittling and insulting and so on. Under the premise of informed consent, Dirty Talk is just a sexual preference of people.
Dirty Talk often plays out in the BDSM scene, and it's associated with all types of BDSM fantasies - bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. As a form of sexual humiliation, its use can create a dominance-submission relationship.
Justin J. Lehmiller, Ph.D. in American Sexuality Studies, conducted a survey on the sexual fantasies of more than 4,000 Americans in his book, and found that:
- 93% of women have fantasized about their partner using Dirty Talk, and 56% of women often fantasize about their partner using Dirty Talk.
- 90% of men have fantasized about their partner using Dirty Talk, and 43% of men often fantasize about their partner using Dirty Talk.
It can be seen that, regardless of men and women, it is very common for fantasy partners to say Dirty Talk to themselves during sex. So why is it so fascinating to say something "dirty" during sex?
On the one hand, it can play a positive role on the spiritual level.
Sexual love is regarded as hidden and private in the eyes of the public, while obscene and lewd words are considered unseemly "taboos" in social activities. Linguists at Stockholm University define Dirty Talk as breaking taboos.
Just imagine a person who is usually reserved and introverted. When he utters Dirty Talk, isn't the stimulation of "breaking the ban" very happy? And the more serious the "taboo," the more excited we'll be to break it.
Especially in the process of sex, just the right words of love can quickly promote sexual desire and pleasure, so that both parties can obtain more spiritual happiness.
On the other hand, from a physiological perspective,
Hearing helps sex, it really works!
In sex, verbal expression has its unique meaning and function. It has a major impact on every intimacy, every sexual life. Even without physical contact, hearing, sight, smell, etc. can also help us achieve sexual arousal. Among them, hearing is an advanced field of human intellectual development, and its physiological and psychological effects are second only to vision.
The British sex psychologist wrote in his book "Sexual Psychology": "The sexual stimulation conveyed from the ears is rich and powerful, and its degree is beyond our usual imagination."
The ear itself is a strong stimulus receiver, so Dirty Talk is so charming.So what should you pay attention to before using Dirty Talk?
1. Based on sexual consent
First of all, before you want to speak Dirty Talk, you must roughly determine whether your partner can accept it and how acceptable it is.
People with different personalities can accept different words. Generally, people who have a more positive and enthusiastic attitude towards sex life have a greater acceptance of Dirty Talk.
2. Determine the bottom line of both parties
Some warning lines must be paid attention to. For example, the ridicule and critical discourse about the body, although some people like to be called "little bitch" and "trash", but more people feel that they are violated and insulted.
So although those usually dirty words can really add to the icing on the cake in sex life, but the level of dirty words needs to be communicated with your partner in advance, and some love words can become violations if you are not careful.
Similarly, if the other party uses wording that you don't like, it is also recommended to bring it up directly-"I feel very strong when you say this." "Don't ever call me xx, that is off-limits."
3. Pay attention to the timing and tone of speech
If at a certain moment, when the other party does not want to have a Dirty Talk at all, and you suddenly say Dirty Talk, it is estimated that the other party was also confused at that time. So when the time is right, speaking such words will bring unexpected happiness.
Well, it's Honeyloveyou teaching time!
If you haven't tried Dirty Talk, you can start with the entry and proceed step by step. Start with a simple, soft description.Describe how you feel:
- so comfortable
- your body is so hot
- I'm so fucked up now
Describe your expectations:
- call out, hurry up
- i want you xx pose
- I love it when you touch me xx
- you come up
- take off your clothes
Appreciate your partner:
- you are awesome
- you are so sexy
- i like your xx
Then try to make your requirements more specific:
- i want to take your clothes off
- hold me tight, kiss my earlobe
If you have tried all of the above and think it is good, then use a little more rough words to break the shame. The more lively the tone, the better. (However, make sure the other party is willing and use it with caution)
- By the way, remind boys to use some words with caution, such as: Is my penis big and thick?
- Who is stronger between me and your ex?
As far as I know, most girls don't like these words very much, and they have no interest in hearing them.
For the above example, the words in it are used flexibly, and more importantly, they are adaptable. Before and after the event, you must communicate with the other party about your feelings, otherwise, if the other party feels uncomfortable, there may be no next time for you.
Finally, not everyone likes Dirty Talk, and it’s okay if you don’t like it or say it’s bad, because it’s just a “spice” in your sex life. The greatest joy of sex lies in the loving intersection of the two of you.
After sharing the article, now you know how to dirty talk during sex?
Do you like being told Dirty Talk?